


She's Mine

by madlaw



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Betrayal, Canon-Typical Violence, F/F, Friendship/Love, I hate Mon-El (let there be no doubt!), Jelous Lena / Kara, Lesbian Sex, Lies, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Quick Burn, Sanvers - Freeform, Slow Build, SuperCorp
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-20
Updated: 2017-10-04
Packaged: 2018-12-31 23:14:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12143217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madlaw/pseuds/madlaw
Summary: Lena and Kara struggle through their tumultuous friendship and inevitable attraction.  Neither perceived themselves as the jealous type.  But its obvious there's no room in their world for anyone else.  The question is will they figure it out before the consequences of their actions destroy their relationship.





	1. Nothing Ventured, Nothing Gained

**Author's Note:**

> I realized I wasn't happy with the first few chapters of this story, so mostly I'm re-writing those before I start on a new chapter. It will follow canon to some extent but I expect to diverge significantly.
> 
> I welcome all constructive criticism and comments. Feed the author!
> 
> I hope you enjoy the ride!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara knows her friends and family consider her naïve and too willing to find the good in everyone, but she considers herself an excellent judge of character and recognizes the sincerity and pain in Lena’s eyes and words.

Lena’s rushing to work, Jess’ text warning her of the reporters already circling like vultures, wanting a comment on the Venture disaster.  She restlessly taps her foot as her driver navigates the early morning traffic.

Its par for the course of her chaotic existence that a subsidiary of her company made the oscillator that failed and caused the catastrophic hull breach on the shuttle.  She strongly suspects her brother’s behind this latest debacle, even from behind his cell bars; luckily no one was hurt or killed.  She ignores the bigger implications.  Lena was scheduled to be on the shuttle but cancelled last minute.  If she’s right, her brother’s trying to kill her.

She was naïve to expect her relocation to National City would be free of her family’s toxic cloud.  Lex and Lillian’s continued efforts to rid the earth of aliens and willingness to use Lena to achieve their ends is nothing new.  Lex, the one person who’d ever showed her love and acceptance, is now willing, and apparently eager, to kill her for her refusal to join him in his all-consuming hatred of everything alien. 

 

* * *

 

Her security team waits by the front door, forming a cordon to get her into the building.  She doesn’t bother to answer the shouted questions from the crowd or acknowledge the microphones thrust in her face.  She does falter when she spots a familiar face in the melee.  Clark Kent.  Superman.  She should’ve expected his visit the minute she saw the news on the Venture and Superman’s involvement in preventing a crash and saving the passengers.  Of course Lena knows Clark Kent is Superman’s alter ego and not just the much lauded reporter; she’s read all of Lex’s research compiled in his obsession to destroy Superman.  

Lena realizes she’s going to have to make a comment at some point and makes a split-second decision.  Before clearing the door she nods to her head of security to follow her inside.  “Please let Mr. Kent through.”  She makes sure he knows which one of the many reporters she means.  Although Kent’s reputation extends even to National City, few people know what he looks like. 

She doesn’t wait as she walks purposely towards the elevators, but Kent catches up with her before the doors close.  

Lena sweeps into her office with Clark on her heels; she’s prepared; her armor deeply entrenched and on def-con five, not waiting for his first question.  “There's a perfectly reasonable explanation for why I wasn't aboard the Venture yesterday.”  She feigns a coolness she doesn’t feel as she hangs her coat and gives him her back, taking a second to calm the agitation threatening to escape. 

Clark can’t help the brief smirk fighting its way onto his mouth.  He didn’t expect Lex’s sister to be a wallflower, cowering under the weight of his gaze and reputation.  “Well, that's why we're here.”

Lena strains to repress her eye roll.  “There was an emergency regarding the planning for a ceremony I'm holding tomorrow. I'm renaming my family's company, and I had to cancel.”

Clark chuckles; he knew she’d have an excuse ready.  “Ah, lucky.”

Lena matches him quip for quip, letting impatience leak into her tone.  “Lucky is Superman saving the day.”

Clark can’t help the surprise flashing across his face.  “Not something one expects a Luthor to say.”

“And Supergirl was there too,” Kara points out, inserting herself into the conversation for the first time.

Lena’s eyes finally focus on Clark’s companion.  She’s greeted by a pair of electric blue eyes, striking yet soft; not the electric shock that paralyzed or crawled under your muscles, but the kind that made your blood dance.  Even hidden under a pair of plain glasses, and a demeanor screaming of ordinary librarian, Lena sinks into their depth. 

Only years of experience allow her to hide the sudden weakness in her legs and the dryness in her mouth.  She glances away quickly, strolling over to the bar in her office for a glass of water; only speaking once her back is turned, feigning disinterest. 

“And who are you exactly?” she snarks, hoping to get her raging hormones under control.

She’s not the only one.  Kara’s grateful for the momentary reprieve from Lena’s piercing gaze; green eyes the color of light winter grass speckled with bare patches of soil.  Iridescent, despite the masking layer of beaten foot-traffic; probably struggling to breathe under a crushing weight.  A jaw capable of torching steel robs the breath from Kara’s lungs and every coherent thought from her brain.

She glances down and immediately regrets it; the potent image of Lena’s long, tantalizing legs assaulting her peripheral vision and trapping Kara’s eyes.  The short skirt Lena’s wearing above her five inch heals gives Kara an unobstructed view of her flexing leg muscles, emphasizing their shapeliness and perfect tone; seduction personified. 

So when Lena directs the full force of her personality Kara’s way, she can’t help but stutter and fidget with her notepad.

“Um…um…I'm Kara Danvers. I'm not with the Daily Planet. I'm with CatCo magazine. Sort of.”

Lena’s amused by Kara’s flustered response and flushed cheeks.  Interesting.  She turns away and pours herself a glass of water before Kara can note the interest she knows reflects in her eyes.  “It's a publication not known for its hard-hitting journalism. More like high-waisted jeans, yes or no?" she quips. 

Kara’s unbalanced by the challenge in Lena’s tone.  “I'm just tagging along today.”  She closes her eyes and looks away momentarily, realizing she’s lost Lena’s interest.  _Really Kara?  You’d think you’ve never seen a beautiful woman before.  
_

But although Kara doesn’t know it, she’s definitely captured Lena’s interest.  Despite Kara’s unassuming demeanor and gentle gaze, Lena suspects there’s much more to Kara Danvers.  But with Superman observing Lena like a molecule under a microscope, it’s not the time to indulge her curiosity. 

She summons her inner CEO, focusing on Superman and careful not to allow herself another trip through Kara’s eyes, exasperation obvious in her gesturing hand.  “Can we just speed this interview along? Just ask me what you want to ask, Mr. Kent. Did I have anything to do with the Venture explosion?” she prompts knowingly.  

“Did you?”

Lena’s steel gaze slashes Clark.  “You wouldn't be asking me if my last name was Smith.”

Clark remains unperturbed, a small smile gracing his features.  “Ah, but it's not. It's Luthor.”  Kara turns her gaze towards him, for the first time feeling uncomfortable with his understated hostility.

Lena changes tact, turning her chair towards him, body language open and words dripping with flirtation.  “Some steel under that Kansas wheat,” she teases.

Knowing there’s nothing she can say to persuade Clark of her innocence in the Venture malfunction and weary of constantly defending the actions of her family, she turns to Kara, whose non-judgmental look radiates an open mind and, surprisingly, understanding.  She looks down, eyes not really focused on anything.

“It wasn't always. I was adopted when I was four and the person who made me feel most welcome in the family was Lex. He made me proud to be a Luthor and then he went on his reign of terror in Metropolis, declared war on Superman, committed unspeakable crimes. When Superman put Lex in jail, I vowed to take back my family's company; to rename it L-Corp, make it a force for good. I'm just a woman trying to make a name for herself outside of her family. Can you understand that?”

Kara knows her friends and family consider her naïve and too willing to find the good in everyone, but she considers herself an excellent judge of character and recognizes the sincerity and pain in Lena’s eyes and words.  She feels guilty for assuming Lena was involved in the explosion without even talking to her first. 

She glances towards Clark and immediately recognizes the nonplussed look in his eyes.  He’s not really listening, disdain and impatience poorly concealed.  But Kara understands Lena’s plight all too well.

Kara lost her world, everything she knew, everyone she loved.  Then Clark, Kal-el, left her with the Danvers and went back to his life; callous to her pain, ignoring her plea to stay with him, the one connection remaining to her family, to her planet.  Despite his abandonment and to her chagrin, she still clings to him, remembering the infant she was destined to protect; the promise she made to her parents. 

Yet ever since she became Supergirl, the entire planet is judging her against his reputation, his actions.  Ironic, considering he had absolutely no influence, no impact, on the person she grew into. 

So Kara understands all too well Lena’s plight, the conflicting emotions inherent in loving family synonymous with the best and worst in your life.  She looks at Lena, not with pity, but with compassion and understanding; her tone conveying a shared grief.  “Yeah.”

When Clark and Kara walked into her office, Lena knew nothing she did or said would convince anyone of her innocence.  But she knew speaking with Clark was an unavoidable inconvenience; ignoring the press would only cement everyone’s belief in her complicity with the Venture disaster. 

But the open and gentle gaze in Kara’s eyes gives her hope maybe there is someone who will listen and judge her on her own merits and not the Luthor name.  So she decides to take a chance; not on the nameless people in National City or on Clark Kent.  On Kara Danvers.

She stands and retrieves a flash drive, handing it to Clark.  “I know why you're here. Because a subsidiary of my company made the part that exploded on the Venture.  This drive contains all the information we have on the oscillator.  I hope it helps you in your investigation.”

Kara again searches Clark’s gaze for any sign he’s considering taking Lena at face value unless, or until, there’s any reason not to.  But she didn’t expect it and doesn’t see it. 

“Give me a chance, Mr. Kent. I'm here for a fresh start. Let me have one.”  Lena implores.

Kara glances at Lena quickly, hearing the hope in her voice.  Ashamed of her cousin for his narrow-mindedness, she looks away; determined more than ever to give Lena a voice in Clark’s quest to vilify her.

 

 


	2. Kindred Spirits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No one in Kara’s life understands. She finds herself constantly forced to defend her friendship with Lena.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter necessary to develop the plot.

Kara’s convinced Lena had nothing to do with the Venture explosion and she’s determined to prove it.

It doesn’t take long for her to be proven right.  She knew Lena is too good to follow in her family’s footsteps.  Her intentions are pure, not tainted by the xenophobia and hatred running deep in her mother and brother. 

Kara finds herself drawn to Lena.  She’s never found anyone to understand her pain, her muddled emotions, her determination to find her purpose outside others’ expectations; not really.  Until Lena.  Kara lost a planet and Lena lost her world.  They’re kindred spirits; Lena appreciates the ache in Kara’s heart without words.

She gives Kara unrestricted access to her office and the two become inseparable, as much as their lives allow; sharing their successes and failures, pain and joy.  Over lunches and coffee and dinners and movie nights and stolen moments in their busy lives, they learn everything about each other.  Eventually the trust between the two women grows unshakeable; their unwavering belief in each other absolute. 

No one in Kara’s life understands.  She finds herself constantly forced to defend their friendship.  She knows her sister Alex is only trying to protect her and her friends want what’s best for her.  But since the day they met, Lena’s done nothing but validate Kara’s faith in her. 

But there’s still an undercurrent of distrust emanating from Kara’s family and friends, Winn being the only one willing to give Lena the benefit of the doubt.  He’s the son of a notorious serial killer; he knows what it’s like to be colored with the same brush as an infamous family.

Kara grows frustrated and eventually furious with everyone’s refusal to see the truth about her friend.  It causes a rift and she starts spending most of her free time with Lena.

 

* * *

      

Alex uses her key to let herself into Kara’s apartment.  Things have been strained with her sister lately and Alex wants to try to repair the rift gaping between them.  She bears potstickers and pizza which she knows Kara can’t resist.

Walking in, a delicious aroma wafts to her.  She looks over to the kitchen and is not prepared for the sight greeting her; her sister and Lena Luthor hovering over the stove.  Kara seems to be stirring something while Lena looks on, a glass of wine in one hand, the other at the small of Kara’s back.

She expects Kara to look up any second, her super hearing detecting Alex’s heart-beat or the surprised exhale; but Kara’s so captivated by something Lena’s saying she doesn’t sense the intrusion.  It makes Alex irrationally angry and she doesn’t stop to consider her words.

She slams the pizza onto the table and both women turn suddenly, shocked at the interruption.

“Alex!  What are you doing here?” Kara exclaims without thinking how her words might be interpreted by her sister.

“I’m your sister in case you’ve forgotten Kara.  What’s she doing here?” Alex rebuts aggressively, jerking her head towards Lena dismissively.

Kara narrows her eyes at her sister’s rudeness.  “Rao Alex, what’s wrong with you?!”  She glances at Lena apologetically only to find Lena’s stoic façade firmly in place; her shoulders back and her chin raised proudly.

“Agent Danvers,” Lena intones.  Alex glares, her tone dripping with disdain.  “Ms. Luthor.”

Kara steps protectively in front of Lena.  “I’m sorry Alex, but you’re going to have to leave.”

Alex scrunches her eyebrows in disbelief.  “Seriously Kara?!  You’re going to put her before your family?!”

“Lena’s my best friend and my invited guest.  So if you can’t be civil, then you need to go.”  Kara doesn’t raise her voice, but her tone is firm and Alex knows it brooks no argument. 

Lena’s stunned to hear Kara’s staunch defense, but she doesn’t want to come between Kara and her sister.  She steps out from behind Kara and walks towards the couch to grab her purse, flung there when she arrived.  “It’s okay Kara.  I’ll call you later.”  Lena’s smile doesn’t reach her eyes.

“No, Lena.” Kara insists.  Lena’s never heard Kara use such a commanding tone.  It shocks her in place.

Kara moves towards the door and Alex, but before she reaches them Alex storms out, slamming the door behind her.

“Kara, I’m so sorry” Lena whispers.  Kara can hear the sigh as her lungs deflate.

Kara looks at her assuredly, although a sad smile graces her face.  “You have nothing to be sorry for Lena.  This is my home and I want you here.”   

 

* * *

 

Lena fights her growing dependence on Kara, the bond that’s slowly twining their lives together.  But she’s never had anyone show her the love and support Kara’s showered her with since they met.  It’s been almost a year and Kara’s never abandoned Lena, even when the cards were stacked against her. 

But Lena can’t help but think of Lex; he loved her until she refused to be who he wanted.  It taught her love was never unconditional.  So she can’t completely silence the fear Kara will one day leave her too and wonders when the day will come when Kara’s price comes due; not because it’ll be too steep, but because Lena knows she’ll pay it…no matter what the cost.

 

 

 


	3. He Whose Name Shall Not Be Mentioned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Kara…”
> 
> She hears a broken sob. “Lena…”
> 
> “I’ll be right there, love. Wait for me.”

Kara doesn’t know why she hasn’t told Lena about Mon-El; more specifically about their relationship.  She talks constantly about Lena in front of him, but when it comes to sharing that part of her life with Lena, something inside Kara rebels.  Instinctively it feels wrong; and she doesn’t want anything to tarnish her relationship with Lena.

But she can’t put it off any longer.  Lena’s already noticed they’re spending a little less time together every week, since Kara’s sharing the time she’d normally spend with Lena with Mon-El.  Tonight she’s invited Lena over for a movie night to finally tell her best friend about her boyfriend.  She ignores the twisting in her gut telling her it’s a mistake and that she’s going to lose something she can’t live without.

 

* * *

 

Kara opens the door to Lena’s genuine smile and warm embrace. 

“Lena!” 

Kara takes a deep breath, indulging in her friend’s intriguing scent.  She closes her eyes, immediately reminding herself to measure her strength, wanting to squeeze Lena until there’s no space between them.  Having Lena in her arms again reminds Kara how much she’s missed her.

Lena pulls away from their hug gently, her hand grazing Kara’s arm, fingers intertwining.  She looks at Kara, gaze soft and loving, her smile bathing in her eyes.  “I’ve missed you Kara,” she whispers. 

Kara blushes and pulls her into the apartment, closing the door one-handed.  “Me too.” 

Lena takes her coat off and butterflies invade Kara’s stomach.  No matter how long they’ve known each other or how often she’s seen her, Lena always takes Kara’s breath away.  She’s stunning.  Even today, in dark blue jeans and a white v-cut t-shirt, Kara’s eyes can’t help but run their way down Lena’s body, coming back to linger on the black bra visible through Lena’s thin shirt.

Lena smirks and arches an eyebrow, clearing her throat.  Somewhere along the way, playful flirtation became common between the two, but it’s usually Lena teasing Kara, enjoying her friend’s flustered reactions.  But there’s no mistaking Kara’s look; she’s blatantly checking Lena out.  Kara’s cheeks flame and her eyes dart back to Lena’s with a chagrined smile.  She nervously fiddles with her glasses, but it doesn’t stop her from grabbing Lena’s hand, leading her to the couch.

They settle in their usual spot in the middle of the couch, half-turned and leaning into each other.  Lena props her face on her left palm, grinning at her friend.  “So tell me Ms. Mysterious, where have you been lately?” 

She’s confused when Kara’s smile fades nervously and she starts to twist her fingers.  Lena recognizes the nervous habit; Kara resorts to it when she’s worried or insecure.  Lena scrunches her eyebrows in question.  But instead of answering, Kara jumps from the couch.

“Oh! I forgot our drinks.  How rude!”  Lena smiles uncertainly, but she knows better than trying to pin Kara down when she’s so jittery. 

Kara takes her time pouring a glass of red wine for Lena.  As she grabs a bottle of water, she changes her mind; deciding she’ll need something stronger.  Kara can’t understand why she’s so nervous.  Lena’s her best friend.  She can tell her anything and Lena will listen and understand. 

She pours herself two fingers of Aldebaran rum Mon-El keeps in the apartment and gulps it down.

Lena accepts the glass of wine graciously, taking a small sip.  Kara’s smiling too widely for it to be real, which is saying a lot for Kara.  Lena smiles soothingly, her fingers resting on Kara’s calf.  She waits patiently, knowing Kara will fill the silence. 

Kara looks away biting her lip, then focuses somewhere above Lena’s shoulder.  “Uh, yeah, I uh, I’m seeing somebody,” she admits with an insecure smile.

If there’s one silver lining to being a Luthor, it’s the ability to remain expressionless.  Lena’s sure her smile doesn’t falter despite the sharp pain stabbing her chest.  It’s still possible Kara means she made a new friend, but Lena suspects the other shoe’s finally dropped.  Lena’s been friend-zoned. 

It’s not like she expected Kara to stay single indefinitely, but in this moment of singular clarity, she admits her feelings for her best (only) friend are not strictly platonic.  But she’s determined to be the friend Kara deserves.  There’s nothing she wouldn’t do to keep Kara in her life.

“Kara, that’s wonderful!  Tell me all about it.”

Lena can see the palpable relief on Kara’s face although it puzzles her.  Why would Kara be afraid to tell her she’s dating someone?  Kara often reminds Lena she’s her best friend; they spend more time together than they do with anyone else.  In Lena’s case there isn’t anyone else, but still.  Isn’t dating something best friends talk about?

Kara smiles gratefully.  “Actually, you’ve met him.  Mike.  The intern from CatCo you invited to the gala with me?” 

Lena remembers; he’d struck her as a man-child and was not impressed.  She remembers clearly Kara pushing him away when Lena approached them.  But when he’d come right out and asked to be included, Lena couldn’t say no.  She knew Kara wouldn’t want her to be unkind, no matter how annoying her colleague.

Kara finds herself somewhat…disappointed?...in Lena’s reaction, which she knows is ludicrous.  Lena responded exactly like a best friend should.  Kara decides it’s just lingering anxiety from keeping Mon-El a secret from Lena.  She gives Lena the sanitized, decidedly non-alien, version of the story.  Lena listens attentively, smiling and commenting encouragingly.

But as she listens, she hears everything Kara’s not saying.  She speaks ‘Kara’ more fluently than anyone except maybe Alex and there’s a conversation taking place in Kara’s pauses and inflections and nervous chuckles.  Kara’s trying to mold Mike into someone worthy and Mike wants to be whatever will win him Kara.  What Lena can’t understand is why.

It’s obvious what Mike’s after; Kara’s gorgeous and the purest person on the planet.  At one point or another everyone in Kara’s orbit falls in love with her.  Winn, James, and quite likely Cat Grant as well.  Cat, CEO of CatCo Worldwide Media, would’ve at least have been a worthy partner for Kara; a strong woman in her own right, always encouraging Kara to be the best version of herself.

Lena refuses to draw parallels to her own attraction for the blond. 

But why does Kara want to be with someone who sounds sexist, self-indulgent, and lazy?  He gets himself fired from CatCo.  (Lena’s sure intern isn’t a paid position at the publication, so that’s quite a feat.)  Then has no qualms about becoming an enforcer for a bookie only abandoning the job when Kara shames him, ultimately settling for a bar-tending gig. 

Kara may have kept ‘Mike’ a secret, but now that she’s talking to Lena about him, she can’t seem to stop.  She’s rambling and twisting her fingers and breathing fast.  Lena’s an expert in understanding a rambling Kara, but she’s concerned because Kara doesn’t seem excited, just…distraught. 

She tells Lena what Mike said to her when she caught him roughing up an alien while working as hired muscle.  It’s obvious the incident affected Kara deeply since she can still remember his words verbatim.  ‘…you love…attention. You love people loving you. You are not selfless and you are no hero.’

Lena has known Kara is Supergirl since shortly after they became friends.  She spent a lot of time with Kara and a ponytail and glasses isn’t the most effective disguise.  After being cradled in Supergirl’s arms, it was glaringly apparent; same scar, same radiant blue eyes, and the unmistakable smile; the one Kara reserves for Lena.  It’s almost an open secret between them.  Kara makes ridiculous excuses she knows Lena would never believe and Lena never pushes.  

So she knows there’s a wealth of information Kara’s not sharing and suspects Mike’s behavior’s probably even more egregious.  But even just what Kara’s saying makes him abhorrent to Lena.  Kara’s kind and selfless and loving.  It’s remarkable even though she’s experienced such loss, and seen the worst earth has to offer, she still believes in the inherent goodness of mankind and her optimism knows no bounds; so for someone to strike at the very core of Kara’s identity as a hero is reprehensible.      

But what concerns Lena even more is the way Kara seems to be shrinking into herself, quick to point how Mike’s changed.  “He has so much potential Lena and he’s really trying; I believe he can make a difference.”  To say she sounds overenthusiastic would be a euphemism, which Lena knows means Kara’s trying to convince herself.

Kara catches the way Lena’s eyebrows lower and a crease appears between her eyes; she knows when Lena’s worried.  “Lena…are you okay?”

Lena smiles warmly.  What she really wants to tell Kara is no, she’s not okay, because Mike’s a prick and deserves to be neutered.  But Kara doesn’t respond to confrontation; it’ll only make her dig her heals in, so Lena’s quick to reassure her.  “Of course love.”

Kara bites her cheek and nods hesitatingly.  “Lena, are you upset I waited so long to tell you about Mon-, uh Mike?  Because…”

Lena takes Kara’s hands between her own, interrupting.  “Of course not Kara; you have every right to your privacy.  I’m your friend; I’ll always give you whatever you need from me…even space.”

 

* * *

 

Lena’s sitting behind her desk, the sliding glass balcony doors welcoming the cool night air, her second scotch in her hand.  She’s been working later and later, until her eyes blur; going home in the early hours to fall into an exhausted sleep.  L-Corp’s not out of the woods yet and there are no other demands on Lena’s time anyway.  She’s used to it…or at least she’d been used to it; before Kara walked into her life, prancing past Lena’s defenses, burrowing under her skin. 

But she’s barely seen Kara since the night she told Lena about Mike.  They’ve rushed through coffee a couple of times, but mostly communicate through texts that grow more infrequent by the day.  Lena knows they’re both to blame for the rift.  Kara pulled away and Lena let her go.

They know each other too well and their conversations had molted into painful superficiality.  Kara wants to live in denial and can’t bear the truth in Lena’s eyes.  Mike, or whatever his name, will continue to whittle away at Kara, preying on her kindness, hiding his selfishness under the guise of love.  He will hurt Kara and Lena only hopes Kara knows she’ll always give Kara what she needs... _always_. 

 

* * *

 

When the door closes behind Mon-El, Kara finally allows herself to cry.  She knew he was imperfect, but she’d never believed him irredeemable.  Or maybe she just wanted to believe.  With him she could be Kara Zor-El; she didn’t have to choose between her dual identities.  She didn’t need to temper her strength or her words.  Krypton and Daxam shared a history, inextricably intertwined.  There was no need to strive to be understood; he knew her culture and traditions.  He understood the nuances of her life before Earth.  He’d lost his home too.

Kara made many allowances for his behavior; his cowardice, his selfishness, his sexism.  She’d rationalized them away, believing him when he said he was a victim of Daxam’s cruel ruling class.  He’d never had a choice. 

But now Kara knows the truth.  He’s a prince of Daxam.  He’d lied about everything; his identity, what he did, and his complicity in the subjugation of an entire planet.

Kara knew…she _knew_ he’d never have told her the truth if his mother Rhea hadn’t arrived demanding her son take his place as the future king of Daxam.  He would’ve let her live a lie; an anathema to everything she believes, easily sacrificing her integrity for his desires.

Kara feels so alone and the one person she knows she needs, she’d pushed away.  She hurt Lena when she’d done nothing but be Kara’s friend.  Lena would’ve never abandoned her; never chosen someone she’d just met over Kara.  The worst part is Kara didn’t need to choose.  Lena certainly never asked for or expected it.

To be fair, neither did Mon-El.  He listened to Kara talk about Lena ad nauseam.  He was the only one who supported her faith in Lena.  Despite all his flaws, he would’ve never stood in the way of their friendship.

Kara couldn’t explain it.  But something about sharing her life with both Lena and Mon-El felt too hard.  She’d accused Mon-El of wanting the easy way out, which was true; but so did she.  She refused to work through her feelings, not wanting to look too closely inside herself, and instead turned her back and walked away from her best friend.

She was selfish then and it would be selfish now to reach out to Lena.  Now that she’s ended it with Mon-El.  Lena doesn’t deserve to be used and discarded at Kara’s whim.  But maybe she’ll give Kara a second chance; if Kara’s brave enough to ask for it.

 

* * *

 

Lena’s phone startles her out of a light doze.  She recognizes the ring-tone immediately.  Kara.  She considers ignoring it for a split second; she’s just so very tired.  But she’s always put Kara first and she always will. 

“Kara…”

She hears a broken sob.  “Lena…”

“I’ll be right there, darling.  Wait for me.”

Thirty minutes later she’s at Kara’s door with a gallon of ice-cream.  It’s open; Kara always leaves it open when she’s expecting Lena.  Lena takes a deep breath before entering.

Kara’s on the floor in front of her couch, clutching her knees tightly to her chest, sobbing quietly.  They’ve been through more rough times than some friendships see in a lifetime, but Lena’s never seen Kara cry.  She’s never seen her look so broken and it tugs at Lena’s heart intimately.  She shrugs off her coat and hurries to Kara’s side, kneeling next to Kara and gathering her into her arms.

A shaking Kara clings to her, sobs intensifying in Lena’s embrace.  “I’ve got you darling.  I’m not leaving you,” Lena whispers as she rubs gentle circles on Kara’s back, her hold solid and secure. 

Kara eventually cries herself out, but doesn’t pull away, instead tucking her head into Lena’s neck, hiccuping softly.  “It was all a lie,” Kara stutters almost inaudibly.  If her mouth weren’t next to Lena’s ear, Lena would’ve missed it.  She places a soft kiss on Kara’s head.

“Tell me what you need Kara; I’ve got you.”

Lena feels new tears flow over her fingers, which are cupping Kara’s face.  “Please… _please_ forgive me,” Kara pleads desperately. 

“Hush darling…there’s nothing to forgive,” Lena reassures her. 

“I don’t deserve…”

Lena doesn’t let her finish, shushing her tenderly with a finger to her mouth.  She kisses Kara’s forehead lightly and they sit in the silence.

Kara finally looks up, sniffling and wiping her teary face on her shirt.  Lena touches her forehead to Kara’s and Kara sees strength and commitment in her eyes; it seeps into Kara’s bones making her sadness bearable for the first time since she sent Mon-El away. 

After a moment Lena stands, lightly pulling Kara up with her.  “Come on, go change while I grab us some spoons; our ice-cream’s melting.”

 

* * *

 

Lena turns on the tv, channel-surfing until she finds a nature documentary.  She turns down the volume and settles on the couch, digging into the ice-cream while she waits for Kara.  She briefly wonders what exactly happened between Kara and Mike, but she doesn’t really need the specifics.  In fact, she doesn’t really want to know unless Kara needs to tell her.

Kara washes up and changes, feeling less shattered and in control of her emotions.  She pauses in the hallway, watching Lena.  Her friend’s chiseled cheekbones and proud jaw are shadowed by the light flicking from the television.  She sighs guiltily before joining Lena on the couch, sitting shoulder to shoulder, seeking the comfort of Lena’s warmth. 

Lena gives her a small smile and hands her a spoon.

Despite how long it’s been since they’ve seen each other, their bodies fall easily into their old familiarity and they sit in comfortable silence, sharing the ice-cream and occasionally fighting with their spoons playfully.

After a few minutes, Kara leans back.  “Lee, I don’t have words to tell you how much it means to me that you came.  I wouldn’t have blamed you if you ignored me.” 

Kara only uses her nickname when they’re having emotionally-charged conversations and Lena feels the affection when it rolls off Kara’s tongue reverently.

She quirks her lip and lets the silence linger for a moment.  “Did you really doubt I’d come?”

Kara shakes her head immediately.  “No…but I’m not sure why.”

“Kara, you’re the only person who’s ever seen _me_ ; not my last name.  You made me feel like I, just Lena, was enough; worthy of your friendship and your trust.  You bestowed a priceless gift; one I’ll never forget.  Nothing will ever stop me from coming to you when you call.”

“There’s nothing _just Lena_ about you and I treated you shamefully.  I owe you…”

Lena’s shaking her head before Kara finishes her thought, a bit of frustration leaking into her sigh.  “Kara, you’re beating yourself up needlessly.  Yes, you hurt me and I missed you painfully, but I don’t need you to feel guilt or regret.  If you need my forgiveness, you have it.”

Kara nods and gazes at nothing in particular, her eyes unfocused and distant.  The truth is she can’t offer a meaningful explanation for her actions.  She’s not sure why she pushed Lena away and right now she’s too emotionally exhausted for introspection.  But she vows silently to figure it out and make it up to Lena. 

“Lee, you have my word I’m going to be the friend you deserve.  I won’t push you away again.”

Lena smiles genuinely.  “I believe you.”

 

* * *

 

Kara grabs the quilt from the back of the couch, tucking them both under the comfy blanket.  They turn their attention to the documentary, but Kara’s eyes immediately begin to droop.  She’s asleep within 20 minutes, her head propped on Lena’s shoulder.

Lena tucks a strand of hair gently behind Kara’s ear and studies her friend.  Without a doubt she loves Kara and she’s perfectly content with the fact.  But she fears being _in love_ with Kara.  She backs away from the thought and takes a deep breath.

She doesn’t want to wake Kara, but she should probably go home.  Lena slips out from under her, carefully re-positioning her on the couch and covering her with the blanket.  But before she makes it a few steps she hears Kara’s sleep-drenched voice.

“Stay with me.  Please.” 

Kara will definitely be the death of her.

Lena changes into borrowed pajamas and washes up.  She stares into the mirror and decides she looks like crap.  All the long days and the emotional push and pull is taking its toll.  Impulsively, she decides to text her assistant; she’s taking the morning off.

She finds Kara lying down but still awake.  “Good night darling.  I’ll be on the couch if you need me.”

Kara pouts with confusion.  “There’s plenty of room on the bed Lee.  I need you here.”  She pats the other side of the bed, turning the blanket back.

Lena slips in without further argument; really, Kara had her with the pout.

Once she’s satisfied Lena’s tucked in next to her, Kara quickly falls asleep.

Lena listens to her steady breaths in the stillness, surrounded by Kara’s unique scent.  She’s in the in-between, not really awake, but not yet asleep, when she feels Kara cuddle into her side, her head on Lena’s shoulder, an arm flung securely over her waist.  Lena succumbs to the night with a fleeting thought; she’s so royally screwed. 

 

        


	4. The Fever of First Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I will never leave you and I will always protect you,” Kara whispers in her ear, her promise absolute.

Lena and Kara easily fall into their old routines and Kara’s careful not to take it for granted; the wound she carelessly inflicted still fresh in her mind. Although she’s promised herself to work through her feelings about Lena, all she’s found is confusion. Lena’s just _more_ …

Lena feels guilty at the occasional stabs of happiness from having Kara mostly to herself again, but she knows Mike’s still lingering in the background and he’ll be back like a bad penny soon enough. Eventually he’ll worm his way into Kara’s good graces again, asking for a second chance and Kara will grant it.

She knows she should keep Kara at arm’s length, just enough space for perspective on her feelings. But she can’t help but bask in Kara’s warmth, a willing Icarus.

 

* * *

 

Kara’s unemployed. When Snapper fired her for publishing an article warning aliens about Cadmus on her blog, Kara took refuge in knowing she did the right thing; refusing to compromise her integrity for her job. She dedicated more of her time to her Supergirl duties and Lena, while she figured out what she wanted to do next. But now she’s just bored.

So she’s more than happily surprised to find Lena at her door, grinning widely. “Hey! What brings you to the rent-controlled side of town?”

Lena strolls in confidently; ever since Kara apologized they’d found a new level of comfort with each other. Kara rarely gets flustered anymore and Lena’s enjoying Kara’s tactile affection.

“Are you grief-baking?” Lena teases.

“Pfft – No.” But it’s no use; Lena sees right through her.

She scoffs, “liar” and Kara sighs. “Being unemployed is not fun anymore – wait; is everything okay?” Kara asks, suddenly realizing its mid-morning on a workday and Lena’s normally glued to her desk at L-Corp.

Lena hesitates, “yeah” but Kara waits her out with a knowing look.

“No. Absolutely.” Lena sighs in resignation. “So, today there is this press conference for Spheerical Industries' new unveiling; whatever they announce is going to be the next big thing that everyone wants.”

Kara frowns reflexively, concerned for her friend. “Are they your competition?”

Lena glances away nervously before holding Kara’s gaze. “No, um, their CEO, Jack Spheer, and I we...we used to be close.”

Suddenly Kara understands how Lena felt when Kara told her about Mon-El. She lets out a short-breath before plastering an interested look on her face. “Until when?”

“Just before I moved to National City.”

For the first time in a while, Kara’s flustered, struggling to process. “Oh, I see…so this…this is a uh… _recent_ closeness.” But like a train wreck, she can’t look away. “How long were you two together?”

Lena’s anything but stupid or oblivious; she sees the flash of jealously in Kara’s eyes. She takes momentary satisfaction from the rare indication Kara may feel more for her too. But she’s not here to make Kara jealous; she really just needs her friend.

“Romantically, two years. But we had a start-up together for five; worked out of a garage trying to find a cure for cancer.” Lena chuckles fondly at the memory. “It was a lot of small explosions and good times…he sent me a personal invite to this press conference.”

“Are you going to go?” Kara asks softly.

Lena shakes her head, but her eyes say yes. She looks at Kara helplessly. “Jack’s my kryptonite.”

Jack was her first love and knowing he’s in town has stirred all of these emotions in Lena; ones she’d thought she’d left behind. “But it's just going to bring up a lot of painful things, and I'm not sure I can relive it.”

Kara pulls up her big girl panties, already standing, knowing what Lena wants before she asks. She sighs internally, but she vowed to be the friend Lena deserves and smiles. “But if your good friend Kara came with you…” she gestures.

“And had my back…” Lena confirms with a smile.

“It won't be so hard to face him,” Kara sort of smiles, while she turns to grab her bag.

Lena cocks her head playfully, but her words are sincere. “Thank you.”

Kara waves away her thanks. “I mean it’s so much better than grief-baking; and I always have your back.”

Lena’s relieved and her smug flirtation reappears, “You’re my favorite,” she smirks.

Kara inhales sharply, her mind on meeting Lena’s ex.

She shakes those thoughts loose just at Lena asks… “So, what's your kryptonite?”

Kara inhales sharply and stutters as she guides Lena out the door. “Um…”

The little voice, which she ignores, speaks up insistently. ‘Lena Luthor…’

 

* * *

 

Kara fidgets with her glasses as they make their way to their seats. Her nerves are frayed and she mumbles to herself, prompting Lena to ask if she’s alright. “Uh yeah, you look great.” Lena can’t help the slight blush at Kara’s compliment.

As if she’s not flustered enough Kara runs right into Snapper and his snarky comments. “Wow, they'll let anyone into these events now.”

Kara waves her hands exasperatedly. “I'm just here with my friend.”

“Oh, good; I was starting to worry that a .com counted as a press pass,” he retorts dryly.

Admittedly Kara has a hard time with snappy comebacks so she struggles for a second, reaching for her words. “And I was worried that only people born before 1980 read your magazine.”

She obviously strikes a nerve because Snapper retorts heatedly. “That's because we value real news.  We're not click-bait millennials. Go enjoy the free cheese, Ponytail, while the real reporters report the news.”

Lena’s been observing the exchange with disgust and gives Kara a reassuring smile; CatCo’s as far from a serious news magazine as it gets. She makes a mental note to see about having Carr fired. Cat owes her a favor.

 

* * *

 

Lena’s flustered the minute she catches her first look at Jack, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, and smiling at Kara, “Impressive,” she gushes.

Kara answers lightly and she’s proud her sarcasm slides under the radar. “Are we allowed to look him in the eye?” she deadpans.

But Spheerical’s Biomax Medical Nanobot Program is actually newsworthy and Kara makes the best of it, taking the opportunity to grill Jack on his discovery. She absolutely does not try to trip him up. Because she certainly doesn’t notice the way he looks at Lena or the dreamy way Lena looks at him.

Of course the minute the presentation’s over, Jack chases Lena down as she’s walking out with Kara.

Kara knew it was inevitable and subconsciously adopts her Supergirl pose, hands fisted at her waist. She looks down as Jack hugs Lena.

Now that Lena’s face to face with Jack she realizes it was a mistake to ask Kara to come with her. It gives her a little insight into why Kara kept Mike a secret for so long and why she pushed Lena away rather than have them both in her life. It was just awkward…her first love and the love of her life, _maybe_ , sharing the same space; she nods subtly at Kara.

Kara takes the hint and bows out, ceding the battle to Jack. But she’ll be damned if she’ll lose the war. Because he hurt her friend of course; she’s not jealous and she’s not in love with Lena.

Still, when an ex-employee approaches her with claims Biomax is dangerous, she’s skeptical. But when a meeting with the source turns into a raging inferno, leaving him dead, she can’t ignore it; as a journalist or Supergirl. Someone is willing to kill to keep their secrets.

 

* * *

 

Lena manages to dodge Jack’s invitation to dinner after the conference and frankly she’s relieved. Revisiting their past would be a mistake for a few reasons. Yes, their relationship ended when Lena reluctantly left to assume responsibility for L-Corp; but there was a reason he wasn’t enough to make her stay and she wasn’t enough to make him come with her.

But when he tracks her down at the office, unabashedly missing her and wanting her, Lena remembers why she fell in love with him in the first place. He’s good and kind and funny; and it feels so good to be openly _desired_ for a change. Things with him were fun and easy. So in a moment of weakness she agrees to dinner.

The minute he leaves her office though, she regrets it.  She needs to fight for her future; not settle for what’s easy.

Before she can doubt herself, she dials Kara’s cell, but it goes to voicemail.  So she calls her at home and Mike answers.  It’s like a bucket of cold water to the face.  Maybe Mike being in Kara’s apartment, _alone_ , doesn’t mean anything.  She laughs it off, but can’t stop herself from leaving a message for Kara.  There was no real reason to divulge where she was having dinner with Jack; a part of her just wanted Kara to know…

So when Kara crashes their dinner, Lena’s heart flickers.  Maybe Kara’s ready…but then she introduces Mike as her boyfriend and something in Lena dies.  Kara will never acknowledge, much less admit, this something more that lives between them; the chemistry Lena felt the first time they met.

Lena just wants Kara _gone_. But for once Kara sticks to her guns and Lena’s confused. Then she realizes…Kara’s not there for her; she’s using her connection to Lena to grill Jack. So she focuses on Jack seductively and he puts it all on the line for her. “I've made a terrible mistake. I should have gone with her. I'm no good without her.” He’s _fighting_ for Lena.

Lena decides then and there, she needs to get over Kara.  Ironically it’s Kara who convinced Lena she’s worthy of love and trust; of someone who sees and revels in all of her. Everything Jack’s gives her; the promise she reads in his eyes. She doesn’t even glance at Kara when Jack firmly brushes her and Mon-El off. “I think Jack and I need to talk.”

Yes, Kara wants to know whether Lena’s ex is a murderer engaged in a cover-up; but she knows if she leaves Lena here they’re done. Even their friendship will never be the same. So she refuses to go, sitting back casually. “Go ahead.”

Mon-El’s not sure what’s going on, but even he knows there’s some subtext between Kara and Lena hanging thick in the air. It occurs to him maybe there’s more to Kara’s adamant faith in Lena.

He may be mostly oblivious, but even he can see it’s time to go, although for a second he thinks Kara might just hit him with laser eyes. Despite his flaws, he’s not a bad guy and he cares about Kara; so he takes it in stride and makes sure Kara gets what she wants. Or at least what Kara claims she wants; a way into Jack's files.

 

* * *

 

Jack accompanies Lena to her office, but even after dinner she doesn’t expect the full court press.

“I'm so sorry,” he confesses regretfully.

Lena’s not sure what he’s talking about. “For what?”

“I made you choose; L-Corp or me. I was greedy. You were hurt.”

Lena softens at the apology she never expected. “You know, I sometimes wonder what would've happened if I'd stayed. Maybe we would have figured the nano-swarm out together. Maybe I'd have a legacy of my own apart from my family.”

But Jack’s not done. “Now I wonder what would have happened if I'd have said there was room for both me and your family. I mean, if I had made room…if I could still do that.”

Lena sinks into his kiss, just present in the moment; willing to try again. But Jack pulls away abruptly and she thinks ‘of course.’ She sighs as he practically runs out to return to his office.

At least Kara doesn’t make false promises.

 

* * *

 

Kara chooses to walk to L-Corp as opposed to flying.  She’s stalling, not quite knowing what she’s going to say to Lena; or why she hasn’t told Alex or written her article. Except that everything inside her says she needs to protect Lena first; her life of course, but also her heart.

Kara regrets ever wishing Jack would go back wherever he came from or anywhere really. She wanted him out of Lena’s life, but she never wanted this; never wanted to break Lena’s heart. Whether Lena would choose to be with Jack or keep him in her past, she cared for him; he’d been an important part of her life and heart for five years. Now he’d end up like Lex; probably in jail for life. She’s not sure Lena can stand to lose anyone else.

It was both easier and harder than she thought. The video did most of the talking. But the devastated look on Lena’s face was something she’d never forget. When she left, she knew Lena would go talk to Jack, regardless of her assurances to the contrary. Then again she knew it’d happen before she showed Lena the video. So she gave Lena time, although she kept watch. She’d let Lena do what she needed to, but she wasn’t going to let her get hurt.

She compromises and turns her research over to Snapper, but not the video. She wasn’t going to break her silent promise to Lena. But when he mentions Spheerical’s CFO as a possible co-conspirator, she realizes the only danger to Lena may not just be Jack, whose feelings might keep Lena alive.

 

* * *

 

Although she doesn’t want to face it, Lena knows Kara wouldn’t lie to her. More, she knows Kara’s an excellent reporter. The video is real. It’s only now, as she’s confronting him, she realizes something else must be going on because Jack’s not lying to her either. She knows him. But before she can puzzle it out, his CFO, Beth Breen, appears.

 

* * *

 

Kara’s been watching and listening to Lena’s confrontation with Jack, but when Beth orders him to inject Lena with the nano-bots, time runs out. Glass shattering is the only warning anyone gets before she yanks Lena away from him. She wants Lena to run, but when she insists on helping, Kara trusts her. Of all the things she’s learned about Lena, she’s not a damsel in distress. Kara trusts her with her life.

Kara distracts the swarm and Lena disposes of Beth easily; Jack managing to groan out the swarm's weakness; but then Beth tells her destroying the mainframe will kill Jack. She looks at Kara, the nano-bots crawling over her body, suffocating the life out of her, and the decision is made. She chooses Kara. She will always choose Kara above anyone, even the man she still loves.

“I’m sorry Jack,” she tells him, agony screaming on her face. With his last breath, he proves he’s the man she believed him to be. “Do it.” She overrides the nano-bot program. As soon as Kara’s free, Lena rushes to Jack’s side, dropping to her knees and holding his hand until he’s gone.

She looks up at Kara helplessly, tears in her eyes. Kara’s heart bleeds for her…and Jack. With all her powers she still can’t save everyone. She knows it; but everyone she loses kills a piece of her.

She kneels next to Lena, holding her as she cries. “Lee,” she whispers “I need to call Maggie.” Lena just looks at her blankly, but lets Kara help her up. “Lee,” Kara draws her attention again gently, trying to see some recognition in Lena’s eyes. “There’s no reason for you to be involved. Let me take care of this for you. Please.” Lena nods and Kara secures Beth.

“I’m going to fly you home; I’ll tell Kara and I know she’ll come as soon as she can.”

 

* * *

 

As much as she tries to rush, it takes Kara almost two hours to get back to Lena. She’d stopped at CatCo to speak to Snapper.

She finds her on the couch where she left her, still in the same clothes, staring blankly into the night. It’s only when Kara sits next to her and draws her into her arms that Lena breaks, sobbing and clinging to Kara. Kara holds her and lets her cry, rocking her softly, rubbing her back.

Lena’s not sure how much time has passed when she sheds the last tear in her body. She’s empty. She’s not sure what’s real; like she’s outside watching herself. She needs to know if she’s still alive. She needs Kara.

She looks up and drowns in blue eyes full of compassion, yes, but also strength and commitment. She lunges up suddenly, salty lips capturing Kara’s mouth roughly. Kara responds without thought; drawing Lena closer, opening her mouth to Lena’s onslaught, losing herself in her taste momentarily.

But she knows this is wrong on so many levels; so she pulls away gently but firmly. “Lee, we’re not doing this now.” Her tone brooks no argument but she doesn’t release her hold on Lena.

Lena stands abruptly, nostrils flaring, all the warmth gone from her eyes. She gives Kara a cold, flinty stare with an edgy snort. “Of course not! A Luthor will never be good enough for you,” she spits out cruelly. “You’re a hypocrite; just get out!”

Kara stands slowly and calmly. “No.”

Lena tries to shove her towards the door, but when she can’t she starts beating Kara’s chest with her fists, sobbing desperately. Kara lets her for a minute then pulls her close, hugging her tightly.

“I will never leave you and I will always protect you,” Kara whispers in her ear, her promise absolute.

Lena calms gradually, arms tucked into Kara’s chest. “Then why…” Lena asks, voice raw, sounding so so lost.

“Because Lee, right now you need me to protect you from yourself. You’re grieving and you’re not thinking clearly. I will not take advantage of you, even if you think it’s what you want right now.”

Kara helps her get in the shower. When Lena comes out, she tucks her in bed, lying down next to her and holding her.

“I wish I could have saved him Lena. I would have done anything…” Lena knows it’s true, even in her state she doesn’t doubt it for a minute. Kara’s a hero. “I did talk to Snapper. Jack won’t be smeared in CatCo’s story. I promise.” Kara feels Lena nod into her chest.

 

* * *

 

Kara stayed most of the night with Lena, only going home in the morning to shower and change. Now she’s on her way to L-Corp to check on her again. She tried to get Lena to take a few days off, but she insisted on going back to work and Kara couldn’t really blame her. Plus she felt better knowing her assistant Jess would keep an eye on Lena and call Kara if Lena needed her.

She stops to buy a small arrangement of flowers, knowing it won’t change anything; but at least it will hopefully remind Lena she’s not alone, even when Kara’s not there.

Lena’s sitting on her couch, much calmer than last night. She’s dressed elegantly in black, make-up carefully applied, her chin jutted in CEO mode. Kara knows Lena needs some semblance of control even if Kara can see the cracks in Lena’s armor.

“Those are beautiful,” Lena greets her expressionlessly.

Kara shrugs gently, not offering empty platitudes. “I wish there was more I could do to help.”

“Oh, you came to see me. That's more than enough.”

“Beth is in jail,” Kara tells her, knowing its cold comfort.

“Good.”

Kara slides next to Lena and wraps her arms around her. “How are you holding up?”

“When Lex was arrested, my mother was there. My mother saw her son dragged, bleeding and raving from her house; and when I got there, Lillian was tidying his room like he'd been away on a business trip.  That's how I feel; cold and calm.  Until I think about Beth dying in jail, and then I feel warm for a minute.”

Kara knows her pain and looks at her compassionately, tucking Lena’s head under her chin, holding her closer. “You’re in shock, Lena.”

“I don't know; loss does strange things to my family, and I've lost a lot of people,” Lena grimaces.

“Well, you're not going to lose me,” Kara reassures.

“I think when I feel things again, I'm going be very, very afraid of the person I might be,” Lena whispers.

“You don't have to be afraid. I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere.”

“Promise?”

“I will always be your friend and I will always protect you; I promise.”

Kara wants to talk to Lena about last night, but it requires finally being open about her secrets. But she knows now is not the time, no matter how urgently she wants to tear down the wall between them.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will deal with Rhea and see the departure of Mon-El (for good!).
> 
> Then we'll start my version of season 3; you know, before it starts for real and the writers screw us.


	5. Blame It On The Silence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena meets Rhea and falls prey to her machinations. No one's sure they'll ever recover from the aftermath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I feel this chapter's a little choppy. But I really didn't want to dedicate so much space to the Rhea/Daxamite plot line. I just needed to move us past canon. It required my contortionist skills to try and explain away the absolutely fu*$ed-up plot line the writers inflicted upon us at the end of season 2. Geniuses they're not. 
> 
> Anyway, it's overwhelmingly told from Lena's POV. This allowed me to skip a lot of the things not involving her.
> 
> Next chapter will take us into uncharted waters, where Sanvers receives more than a token nod, the chemistry between Lena and Kara sizzles, and intrigue abounds at every turn. 
> 
> Stay tuned and be sure to let me know what you think so far!

Lena’s not sure what to think when the woman strolls into her office, oozing confidence.  But she knows strangers rarely appear in her life unless they want something from her.  The woman’s name is Rhea and she claims to have a business proposition.  Against her better judgment she decides to at least look through the project; anything to keep herself busy and try, not to forget exactly, but to at least stop obsessing about Jack. 

When they meet the next morning Lena can’t hide her excitement.  “Rhea, I've been looking at your proposal and I have never seen anything like it.” 

Rhea tries to hide her smugness, “I hope in a good way.” 

But Lena’s too excited to notice anyway.  “A device for matter transformation and reconfiguration? It's astonishing.” 

“Well, I saw your TED Talk on the future of quantum technology, which made me think it might be right up your alley.” 

“This could revolutionize travel, energy, security, just about anything.  You could move food and water to famine-stricken areas in an instant and solve climate change.  That is, if it works.  The proposal you lay out is sound, but it is all theoretical."

“Which is why I need you; my thought was if we wed L-Corp's work in zero-size intelligence with my design, I'm confident we can make it a reality.  Of course, I kept a few key details out of the proposal.I needed to gauge your interest before revealing all of my secrets.” 

“Well, I'm interested.” 

“Good; because I made us a reservation at Paka's,” Rhea smiles. 

“Well, how can I say no?”

 

* * *

  
  
Before approaching her, Rhea studied Lena, looking for an angle to penetrate the woman’s defenses.  Lena Luthor is an astute businesswoman and a perceptive and guarded individual.  But when she read about Lena’s relationship with her mother, she knew she’d found the answer. She’d sell herself as a mentor to Lena, boosting her self-esteem and providing all the love and encouragement Lena never knew from Lillian. 

Lena finds herself intrigued by Rhea.  “So where did you study?” 

“Undergrad at Oxford, masters of engineering from MIT.” 

“I went to MIT.” 

Of course, Rhea knows, it’s why she made it part of her cover story. 

“Did you have Martinez?”  

“I think I was there quite a few years before you, but I will take the compliment and I will offer you one in return.  The applications of your black body field generator blew me away. You're quite the genius.” 

“And you are too kind,” Lena blushes. 

“I'm being honest.  I wish I had a daughter like you. Your mother must be proud.” 

Maybe it’s the scotch Rhea keeps pouring like water in the desert, but Lena finds herself opening up in a way she’s never done before with anyone but Kara. “That's not how I'd describe her.” 

“Mothers and daughters; not always the easiest relationship.” 

“It's more like apocalyptic,” Lena shrugs, taking another sip. 

“…but you know we don't have to talk about it,” Rhea offers disingenuously. 

“No, no, it's fine.  You know? She never really cared about me and only came back into my life to steal from me and frame me for a felony.  So, you know, usual mother-daughter stuff.” 

“Well, you have a sense of humor about it.  I'm impressed.  I try, but I'm not usually successful.” 

“Are you plagued by your mother, too?”  

“Mmm.  My son.  He was always the light of my life.  But recently, he met this horrible girl, and everything changed.  My husband and I lost our son.  And on the heels of it, my husband died.”  The best lies always mirror the truth and Rhea knows exactly how to manipulate Lena. 

“That's awful.  I'm so sorry.” 

“I never open up like this…” Rhea adds demurely. 

“Don't be silly; I started it.” 

“I guess since I'm sharing, I should share everything.  These are the key concepts I withheld from the proposal.”  Rhea hands Lena a thumb drive and Lena can’t help but be touched by Rhea’s trust. 

“I can't wait; and I give you my word…I will not steal it.” 

“I trust you…” Rhea assures her. 

“You know, regardless of what happens with business, I have a feeling we're going be friends,” Lena admits wistfully. 

“To new friends! Thank the gods I found you.” 

Until the last sentence, Rhea had her.  Lena was prepared to jump in with both feet.  But she’d heard the exact expression before; just never from a human.   Rhea doesn’t notice Lena’s knowing stare or how the smile drains from her eyes. 

 

* * *

 

The next time she walks into Lena’s office Rhea’s not prepared.  “Do you like what you see?” 

Everything else aside, Lena thinks she needs to look into hiring new security.  People just keep strolling into her office like they own the place; no one should be able to except Kara.  She gives a fleeting thought to her friend; they usually talk or text every morning, but she hasn’t heard from Kara today. 

Lena slides over to her desk.  “It's all very interesting…I almost forgot.  I want to give you elevator access, so you can come up to this floor without an escort.  Security just needs your thumbprint and they'll issue a badge.” 

Except it’s not about elevator access; it’s the alien detection device, which is glowing bright red.   “Is that good?” 

Lena ignores the question.  “I was looking through your designs and there's a small problem.  It requires an element that doesn't exist on Earth.  You see, we have 118, and this would be categorized at 260.” 

Rhea stalls, thinking there may still be a way to turn the situation to her advantage.  “I don't know what you mean.” 

“I think you do,” Lena responds, not amused. 

“It was when I thanked the gods at dinner, wasn't it?”  Rhea finally gives up the ruse. 

“You're an alien and this device just proved it.” 

“Red is never good on this planet,” Rhea quips. 

“I don't know who you are, but I am not helping you build anything.  You talk about betrayal and people hurting you and then you do it in spades.  I want you out of my office and there are several heavily armed guards coming if you have trouble finding your way out.” 

Lena may only be 24, but she’s a Luthor and the CEO of an international conglomerate.  There’s a reason for it and it’s not just her family’s name. Her emotional quotient may be low, but her IQ more than compensates.  She is a genius after all.

 

* * *

  
  
As Rhea leaves her office all Lena feels is shame; that she could be so easily duped, that she still craves her mother’s love and attention, that she still foolishly hopes people will see beyond her name.  

At least the next time Rhea shows up, she materializes out of thin air so Lena can’t blame her security.  But there’s only one person Lena doesn’t mind using the balcony doors and it most certainly is not Rhea.  She stands immediately.  

“I thought I made myself clear.  Our business is done.  Now get out of my office before I call security.” 

But Rhea sees the chink in Lena’s armor.  “I'm the one who hasn't made myself clear, Lena; and I’m sorry for that.  You're right.  I lied to you.  I pretended to be of this world, but only because I know how much your mother loathes aliens and I presumed you'd be the same.” 

“That's what people do when they hear I'm a Luthor; they presume.”  It’s been a constant since she was four years old.  Except Kara; sometimes Lena feels Kara doesn't know her last name.  She makes Lena forget the curse imbued with the name Luthor. 

“Everything else I told you was the truth.  Being betrayed by your own blood; there's nothing more painful.  I know you understand that,” Rhea empathizes. 

“What do you want from me?”  Lean finally asks.  

“I want exactly what I proposed.  I want us to work together to create a trans-matter portal.  We have them where I come from.  L-Corp has already built a large-scale generator ring; we can easily adapt it for this.  The portal would help your planet immensely and it would help me get home to mine.” 

“I don't work with people I can't trust.”  But Lena knows if it were true she’d never work with anyone.  She trusts Kara implicitly, and to a certain extent her assistant Jess, but that’s it.  She certainly doesn’t trust L-Corp’s board or her business partners. 

“I made a mistake.  You are nothing like your mother.  I see that now.  Please, Lena; don't let my one lapse in judgment keep us from doing great things.” 

“I'll think about it,” Lena acquiesces.  Why should this partnership be any different? 

“That's all I can ask.” 

Once Rhea’s gone, Lena decides to call Kara and seek her advice.  Kara’s served as her moral compass for awhile now and Lena needs her guidance more than ever. Kara sees Lena’s name flash on her phone and hesitates to answer.  Alex is missing and Kara needs to maintain her focus on finding her; she can’t lose Alex.  But it’s Lena and Kara can’t ignore her as much as she knows she probably should. “Lena.” 

“Kara.  I'm glad I caught you.  Um can I ask your advice about something? Someone.” 

“Um now's not a good time.  I'm sorry.  Can I call you back?” 

“Oh, of course, of course; is everything okay?”   

Kara almost tells her, but there’s nothing Lena can do to help and there’s no point in burdening her friend.  “I'll call you back.” 

It’s the first time Kara’s brushed Lena off and it stings a little, but Lena knows Kara must have a good reason.  When she calls back to check on Kara they’ve found Alex and Kara’s more than happy to hear from her friend.  “Lena, hey.  I'm sorry I couldn't talk earlier.” 

“No, no, it's okay.  I was just calling to check up on you.  You sounded upset.” 

Even though Kara can’t see her, the smile on Lena’s face radiates warmth and affection. 

“It worked out.” 

Kara will tell Lena what happened; she feels like she needs to talk it through with someone not emotionally invested.  Almost losing Alex left her unbalanced and insecure; but she’d rather have the conversation in person.   

“Good.  Hey, brunch next Saturday? I know a place,” Lena jokes. 

“Yeah, that sounds great.  Just, uh, no kale this time, uh, for real.  Oh, and you called for some advice?” 

“Yeah, yeah, I figured it out.” 

Rhea’s standing closely behind her, although Lena had stepped away to make the call.  She feels awkward asking for Kara’s advice with the woman standing so close.  It’s not like it’s irreversible; she’ll ask Kara’s opinion when she sees her next.   “Okay.” 

“Okay.” 

“Bye.” 

“Bye.” 

Lena hangs up and turns to Rhea.  “Ready to change the world?”  

“You have no idea,” Rhea smirks.  

But Lena doesn’t see Kara on Saturday or anytime during the next three weeks.  Somehow the project with Rhea always draws her attention; even on the weekends.  Rhea makes sure it does, even though Lena remains oblivious.  By the time Lena catches up with Kara she’s been working with Rhea for over a month and she’s blown away by how close they are to completing the device.  Lena’s excited about all the good it can do and a little bit of her hopes it will be enough to redeem her in the eyes of people who only associate the name Luthor with evil. 

They’re having lunch at CatCo, laughing and talking about everything and nothing.  Lena feels so free with Kara.  Even though they’ve both been busy, it’s like they just saw each other yesterday.  Kara’s joy rushes through Lena leaving her light and happy.  She’s missed her best friend and as soon as the project is complete she plans on making it up to Kara. 

Lena knows Kara’s gone out of her way to be a better friend since the fallout over Mike.  As Lena predicted, Kara forgave him and they got back together.  But it hasn’t affected Lena and Kara’s friendship this time around, although they still can’t seem to talk about him much.     

“Thanks for catching lunch with me,” Kara smiles, discretely checking Lena out for some reason she can't fathom. 

“Yeah; well, since I canceled on you the last three times and you said you couldn't get away, I figured you were worth the extra effort,” Lena says a little guiltily, although she knows Kara won’t hold it against her. 

“Yeah, what's keeping you so busy?”  

“It’s top secret,” Lena sort of jokes. 

“Intriguing.”  Kara’s a little taken aback there’s actually something Lena won’t share with her.  Kara always keeps everything off the record until Lena says it’s okay to release it.  They’re friends first. 

“As soon as I can tell anyone anything, you will get an exclusive.” 

Kara gives her the puppy-dog pout and Lena relents.  “I'm working with a new partner.”   

Kara’s not sure why, but she’s not crazy about the idea of Lena being so secretive about a new partner.  “Mmm.” 

“Yeah, she's fantastic.  It's like having a mentor, you know? You'll love her; promise.” 

Kara hates her already; now it makes sense why Lena been so distant.  She knows it’s childish, hating someone else occupying Lena’s time.  But Lena seems really excited, so Kara’s genuinely happy for her. “You got to give me something.  I have to have something to look forward to…” 

“Okay; something to look forward to…what do you know about quantum entanglement?” 

"Quantum wh - polyatomic anions?”  What Kara wants to say is, ‘probably more than you’ but revealing her extremely advanced knowledge of physics would just complicate her life in ways she’s not ready for…maybe one day she’ll be able to share her knowledge with Lena and they can work together to make the world a better place.    

“Well, when you see what we're doing with them…it will blow you away.” 

“I can't wait.” 

Lena laughs good-naturedly, but then her phone vibrates.  “Oh.  Actually, this is this is her.  I'm going to have to go, because we're doing our first test today.” 

Kara suppresses the niggling feeling something’s a little off.   “Oh, it was so good to see you.” 

Without a conscious decision, they’ve been hugging every time they say goodbye.  Kara wraps Lena in her arms and they hug longer than friends probably should. Kara finally lets her go.  “Next time, lunch is on me.” 

Kara can’t help but gaze after Lena as she walks away, ignoring the decidedly non-platonic feelings the sight of Lena’s curves brought to mind.  She’s accepted she has a ‘girl crush’ on Lena, but it’s no big deal; she’s with Mon-El and she’s happy.  Most of the time anyway.  

 

* * *

 

Lena’s discouraged when the first test of the portal proves unsuccessful, but Rhea’s there every step of the way encouraging her, motivating her, inspiring her.  When she doubts herself, Rhea pulls her out of her spiraling thoughts. 

Lena finally figures out the algorithm, excitement coursing through her body.  She did it.  She proved she was just as smart as Lex, only she’s using her knowledge for good.  

Rhea gloats internally.  When Lena’s phone rings Rhea answers, seeing Kara’s name on the screen.  She boasts of her impending victory, knowing Kara and the DEO are too late.    Lena looks back to Rhea as she’s working and sees her phone in Rhea’s hands.  It makes her pause.  “Was that my phone?”  

Rhea shrugs disingenuously.  “Yeah; telemarketer.” 

In the back of her mind Lena knows her private cell phone number could not be obtained by a telemarketer.  It’s encrypted.  But she sets it aside in her giddiness.  Even at the moment when she sees Rhea powering up the portal, her mind refuses to process the obvious answer. But the horror slowly dawns on her.  This was never about getting Rhea home; it was about bringing something or someone to earth.  What has she done?  

 

* * *

 

She wakes up on the Daxamite ship only to find Rhea intends to marry her to Mon-El.  They refuse, but when Rhea threatens to target children they have no choice.  Mon-El only made a token protest anyway, for the most part meekly going along with his mother’s plans. 

When they get the chance, it’s Lena who fends off the guard and rigs the door.  If Lena survives, she and Kara are going to have a serious talk about this guy; his only use seems to be brute strength. 

Lena wasn’t expecting her mother to work with Supergirl to rescue her, but she’s not surprised to be back on earth and find her mother betrayed Supergirl and left her and Mike on the ship.  Then Mike comes through the portal alone.  Lena would not have abandoned Supergirl knowing she intended to stay behind.  Then this man-child who claims to love her leaves her up there and saves himself, like he did Supergirl a favor.

 

* * *

 

The magnitude of Lena’s mistake starts to weigh her down the minute she’s back in her office.  Without fail Lillian shows up to rub it in; but at least she comes bearing a useful gift.  There just might be a way to save earth.  But this time Lena doesn’t trust anyone except Supergirl.

Lena gives her remote access to the device she’s reconfigured to irradiate the atmosphere with lead and make it toxic for Daxamites.  She makes sure Superman knows Kara’s dating Mike; from the look on his face he clearly didn’t know.  Since it couldn’t be her, Lena wanted someone to understand the kind of decision Kara would be forced to make.

In the end, Kara chooses earth over Mon-El.  But it wasn’t a choice really.  What were they going to do?  Run away and hide from Rhea for the rest of their lives while she destroyed Kara’s home and family?  But it still hurts and Kara’s not sure she’ll ever forgive herself for not finding another way.

 

* * *

 

It’s been weeks and Lena hasn’t heard from Kara.  She’s not sure they’ll ever be able surmount the immensity of Lena’s decisions and Kara’s pain, so she waits and turns her attention to rebuilding National City.  Indulging in her guilt is not a luxury she’s going to allow herself. 

The irony doesn’t escape her though.  She’s the Luthor who didn’t want to hurt anyone, yet she’s the one who caused the world’s biggest disaster.  All because she sought the validation she always needed from her mother in someone who’d seen the vulnerability, exploited it, and betrayed her.

Lena assumes it’s Jess when her door opens.  But when she looks up its Kara and Lena’s speechless.  She stands but doesn’t move, paralyzed with the fear Kara’s here to say goodbye forever.  But Kara just glances at her and then moves to sit on the couch, a deep sigh escaping her.  Lena turns one of the chairs in front of her desk around and sits facing her, leaving what seems like a chasm of space between them.

“I’ve missed you,” Kara starts with a small smile.  Lena’s frozen in place; of all the things she’d imagined Kara would say to her if they ever spoke again, she’d never dreamed those would be the ones.  Lena doesn’t look away, expressionless.  She wants Kara to be able to say what she needs to say without worrying about how Lena feels.

“But I felt guilty for missing you when he was gone.  I failed to save him so I punished myself.  But it’s not working,” Kara says softly, fighting tears she won’t shed.  “I need my best friend; I need you,” Kara whispers.

Lena stands slowly and sits on the other side of the couch from Kara.  She twists her finger and glances at them, reaching for words she knows will be inadequate.  But before she can respond, Kara starts speaking again.

“I know you never meant to hurt anyone.  I know you were trying to reach for the idea of a mother’s love for her child.  I know you’re good and honorable and selfless.” 

Lena doesn’t say anything, but her tears speak for her, small sobs forcing their way out against her will.

“I also know there’s plenty of blame to go around.  I’m tired of the secrets Lee; yours and mine.  We could’ve saved each other so much pain, if we’d just been honest and open.  I don’t know how we ended up so lost…our friendship so broken, we thought it’d never survive the truth.”

Kara sighs ruefully.  “I never told Mon-El I loved him until seconds before he left.  I’m not even sure if I was in love with him and I’ll never really know, because his leaving and my guilt are inextricably twined.  Did I love him or do I just feel responsible for his fate?  If I loved him the way he loved me, then why didn’t I ever tell him?”

“Kara…” Lena tries helplessly, but her sobs are the only thing she can get out.  Kara scoots over and tugs Lena until she’s tucked under Kara’s shoulder with Kara’s arms wrapping her tight.

“So no more secrets Lee.  No lies of omission.  No justifications.  No more avoiding uncomfortable truths.”

Lena pulls away just far enough to look into Kara’s eyes.  “I promise Kara.”

Kara gives her a reassuring squeeze before letting Lena go and turning so they’re facing each other more comfortably. 

“So I’ll start.  I’m Supergirl; I know you knew but it seemed important to tell you myself. 

I know when you’re in trouble because I’ve memorized your heartbeat.  Not intentionally or consciously, but it’s always lingering in my awareness.  You and Alex are the only ones; but I’ve spent decades listening to Alex’s heartbeat and it only took me minutes to learn yours. 

I know I’m happier when I’m with you.  I know I’ll never stop believing in you.  I don’t know if we’ll ever be us again; but I know I’m willing to try.”

Lena’s grown calmer while Kara’s been talking; the air finally filtering into her exhausted lungs.  She clears her throat.  Other than the whole business with Rhea, there’s only one secret she’s kept from Kara.

“I think I’m in love with you.”

 

 


	6. Rebuilding and Evolving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena and Kara start rebuilding their friendship and their relationship begins to evolve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, everyone, sorry it's been a little bit since my last update. Between vacation and hurricanes its been hectic; not to mention no power.
> 
> Anyway this is a short chapter just to get me back into the groove. 
> 
> As always all comments, suggestions, and critiques are welcome.

“Hi Jess.” Kara greets Lena’s assistant with a wide smile and places Jess’ coffee order on her desk as she sighs gratefully. “Is Lena available?”

Kara knows Lena’s given her unfettered access, but it’s only polite to ask. Jess hesitates, but then gestures to the door to Lena’s office with a tight smile. Kara crinkles her brow and feels she should say something, but Jess is already back to work.

As she grabs the handle to Lena’s office door her super-hearing picks up the sound of Lena’s voice. Kara can tell she’s excited by her tremulous tone and elevated heart rate. She immediately picks up a second voice; one she doesn’t recognize. As Kara opens the door, the woman’s honeyed voice immediately grates on her nerves. Kara’s always felt that type of dulcet speech sounds very nice, but you can’t trust the person using it.

Lena’s sitting at her desk, the woman leaning over her shoulder, her hand on Lena’s back, while they discuss blueprints Kara knows are for Lena's new project. The woman’s listening attentively, but for a brief second when Lena turns away, it’s as if she’s studying Lena with a predator’s unwavering attention. Lena’s waving her hands enthusiastically emphasizing her words and excitement. “…this could lead to a breakthrough in microelectronics…”

Lena feels Kara before she sees her, responding to the weight of Kara’s presence instinctively. She looks up. “Kara!” She pushes back from her desk and stands to greet Kara eagerly, momentarily forgetting they’re not alone, greeting her with a warm smile, her smoky green eyes locking on Kara’s automatically. The fleeting moment dissipates when they both hear a throat clearing.

Lena turns with a cheapish smile. “I’m sorry; Kara let me introduce you to one of L-Corp’s new engineers. I lured her from Lord Technologies and she’s been a brilliant addition to the team.”

Kara smiles graciously but it doesn’t reach her eyes. The woman is shorter than Kara, her body lithe; cynical sooty eyes the only distinguishing characteristic in an otherwise ordinary face.

“Kara Danvers, meet Sabah Katirci.” They shake hands perfunctorily and Kara gets the sense Sabah’s annoyed at the interruption. “I’m so glad to finally meet you Kara, Lena speaks of you very fondly.”

Kara detects an almost imperceptible accent. If it weren’t for her super-hearing she wouldn’t have noticed. She has a gift for languages and speaks several. If she had to guess she’d say it’s Turkish.

“Well then you have me at a disadvantage,” Kara responds lightly. Sabah quirks her head and then smirks knowingly.

Lena’s surprised but intrigued by what, for Kara, is a snarky comment. She quirks her lips at Kara in question, then turns to Sabah. “That’ll be all for today Sabah. We’ll pick this up tomorrow.”

Sabah seems to bristle at the abrupt dismissal, but nods her head courteously. “Yes, Ms. Luthor.”

Once they’re alone, Kara tugs Lena to the couch. Lena considers mentioning Kara’s behavior, but then thinks better of it. They’ve been slowly rebuilding their friendship and its way too soon for playful banter regarding their feelings.

Lena doesn’t regret telling Kara how she feels, but sometimes it’s hard to see the line; especially considering Kara’s constant tactile affection. She knows she should set boundaries, but she simply doesn’t want Kara to stop touching her.

Kara responded sincerely and kindly to Lena’s declaration on the fateful day, holding Lena’s hand gently, and eyes brimming with warmth. “I won’t hurt you.”

Lena wasn’t sure what it meant but she was afraid to ask.

“I came by to see if you wanted to grab lunch. The criminals seem to be on hiatus and I managed to duck Snapper for the day,” Kara rolls her eyes, grinning.

“Of course! I don’t have anything scheduled this afternoon, so I’m yours for the duration.”

“Great! There’s this new place I heard has awesome pot stickers…”

Of course; Lena face palms internally. She’s not really a huge fan of pot stickers, but she really likes Chinese food so it works out.

They leave together arm and arm and Jess smiles discretely. As they get in the elevator, Lena gives her the universal signal for cancel my meetings behind Kara’s back. Once the doors slide closed, Jess smirks. She cancelled them the minute Kara showed up.

 

* * *

 

After a mountain of pot stickers, Kara tries to get Lena to attempt roller-skating, to which Lena replies with an emphatic no. There are some things she won’t do even for Kara. So they compromise and walk through the art district, enjoying the new exhibits and basking in the beautiful day and each other’s company.

  
One of the galleries is also an art studio and Kara’s distracted by the artist fighting with his easel. He’s working with an angry red, slashing the white canvas. Kara wonders about the pictures in his mind stirring his violent attack. His rage slices and spatters the painting again and again, his breath coming in short, hard rasps. When he stops, chest heaving, red smears the easel, spots the drop sheets, and covers his white shirt.

  
He looks up and his turbulent black eyes lock with Kara’s concerned blue. He looks over to Lena and gives them both a chagrinned smile. “I’m sorry ladies; I was completely immersed in my work. Please, come in.”

  
Kara and Lena step in, looking around curiously. The skylights bathe the room in natural light and the outside noises drift mutedly through an open window. Kara coughs quietly into her elbow, the smell of the fresh paint inundating her heightened senses.

  
“Oh, but where are my manners; let me introduce myself. I’m Udrus Uylmanseo,” he bows theatrically. Kara grins at his old world charm and Lena raises an eyebrow. “Hi, I’m Kara and this is Lena.” Kara smiles while Lena gives him a more conservative nod. He seems harmless enough, but totally weird in a Bela Lugosi’s Dracula kind of way. Given the world they live in, Lena’s not letting her guard down.

  
Kara wanders around the gallery, discussing Udrus’ art with him, while Lena observes closely. She knows Supergirl can handle herself obviously, but she’s not indestructible. Kara’s heartbeat becomes erratic and she realizes it’s in sync with Lena’s. She looks over concernedly, but Lena’s face seems calm and betrays none of her anxiety.

  
“Thank you Udrus; I’ve enjoyed seeing your work. I’ll be sure to come to your opening.” Kara smiles graciously as she walks out with Lena.

  
“Lena, are you okay?”

  
“Yes. It was just a little stuffy inside.” She’s too embarrassed to admit to Kara the artist gave her the creeps.

 

* * *

 

They’re lounging at Lena’s apartment while Kara inhales a couple of pizzas. One of the benefits of Lena knowing she’s Supergirl is she doesn’t have to hide how much she eats. Not that she was doing such a good job of it before.

“Come on Lena, please…” Kara’s giving Lena the puppy-dog pout so Lena looks away; she always falls for the look and she needs to be strong.

“Kara, you’re just courting disaster. It’s too soon.”

“Well we need to do something because this isn’t working for me anymore.”

“You know I’d do anything,” at Kara’s victorious smile Lena backpedals, “almost anything for you. But I’m not coming to game night.”

They’ve spent the last half-hour going in circles and Lena knows Kara’s wearing her down.

“Kara your friends hate me; whatever good will I earned with them portaled out with the Daxam ships. I don’t blame them. It was my fault.”

Kara purses her lips, her eyebrows crinkled, and takes a deep breath. “We’re not having this discussion again Lena; the only one to blame is Rhea. You want to talk about naïve? The woman put a bounty on my head and I still believed she’d leave us in piece. Mon-El didn’t have the spine to stand up to his mother.” Kara exhales. It’s only now she can say Mon-El’s name without getting sick to her stomach.

“I could go on and on Lee; we all made mistakes. You’re not any more responsible than the rest of us.”

“Kara darling, even if that’s true, your friends and family won’t see it that way. I don’t want to put you in the position where you have to choose. There’s a very real likelihood your sister will shoot me on sight. To say nothing of James who had reason enough to hate me before.”

Kara refuses to give up. She’s tried to persuade Lena in the past, but this time she’s not taking no for an answer.

“You’re not wrong; I won’t lie. But I’ll disarm Alex at the door and Winn worships you. You’re his tech god. I’m not sure where Maggie stands, but she’d never be disrespectful or uncivil.

Besides, would you rather deal with them on the holidays for the first time? I’m not letting you spend them alone even if I have to pick you up and fly you involuntarily. So there’s no better time than the present.

I’ll be with you every step of the way. You know I’ll protect you; even if it’s from my family and friends. Lee, please. You and Alex are the most important people in my life; I can’t have you divided. It’ll break me.”

Lena looks at Kara’s solemn face and knows it’s true.

She’s fended off hostile takeovers, how hard could it be?

“Fine; but there better be a bottle of scotch with my name on it.”


	7. The Space Between The Spaces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena and Kara are learning to navigate each other's space in a more honest way. Of course, they should've expected having to handle a nuclear explosion too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Setting up some plot lines...you'll start seeing a lot more SuperCorp (btw I always call them this b/c i KarLena - just sounds icky). If you have an idea or comment, feel free to shout it out!

 

 

“Hey, Luthor; it’s been a while.”

Lena knew it. She knew the minute Kara left to pick up the food someone would show up early for game night.

“Move it Danvers, this beer is heavy,” Maggie grouses from behind Alex.

Lena steps back and Alex steps into the apartment, letting Maggie pass.

“Hi, little Luthor, don’t mind Alex; she’s getting a jump start on being a sore loser.”

Lena likes Maggie. She does what she needs to do, no apologies, no grudges. Lena knows exactly where she stands with Maggie.

“Well she’ll be in good company I’m sure,” Lena smirks. She hears Maggie guffaw behind her.

Alex frowns in Maggie’s direction, but focuses on Lena. “Build any portals of war lately?”

Lena tenses, but Alex chuckles lightly. “Just fucking with you Luthor. Relax.”

Lena exhales softly and smirks. “In that case I’ll share my scotch with you. Bowmore 25 year.”

“I will love you forever Lena Luthor!” Alex squeaks, as Kara arrives with a stack of pizza boxes.

Kara doesn’t think and just blurts out… “Shouldn’t that be my line?”

Lena turns dragon fruit red and Kara almost super-speeds back to the phantom zone.

Maggie shakes her head laughing and mutters under her breath. ‘Gay, so, so gay.’

 

* * *

 

“I call Lena,” Winn shouts the minute he’s through the door. Alex rolls her eyes. “I’m pretty sure you’re not the one with her number,” Alex mumbles to Maggie, who spits out the beer in her mouth and almost chokes.

“No Winn,” Kara announces. “New rule; teams will be picked randomly. I already put all our names on equally sized laminated cut-outs in this container. I’m tired of everyone fighting over Lena.” Without exception everyone is smirking, but Maggie elbows Alex before she embarrasses Kara.

Kara cheats and uses her x-ray vision to pick Lena’s name; only Maggie notices. She wonders how long Kara thinks she can keep it up before picking Lena’s name every time gets glaringly suspicious. But she’ll let the baby gay have her fun.

“It’s Alex’s turn to pick the first game tonight,” Kara announces after checking their game night log.

“I pick…chess!”

Lena looks at Kara nervously. Kara knows Lena doesn’t want to be condescending, but no one in this room can beat her at chess.

“Uh…Alex, I don’t think it’s a great idea. It’s a really long game.”

“Don’t be a spoilsport! We can do rapid play…it’ll be fun.”

“Alex, Lena’s really a master at chess,” Kara warns her.

Alex looks over at Lena with a daring smile, “well, bring it on Luthor.”

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you,” Lena smiles smugly.

Alex bought a chessboard with her so with Kara’s they can run two games at a time. In the first round Lena plays against Winn and Maggie. She defeats them both, but is surprised at Maggie’s skills. It’s fun to be challenged.

Alex plays against James and Kara. She also emerges victorious, but only due to a last ditch effort against Kara after landing in check more than once. Kara could’ve ended the game several moves earlier and Lena realizes she let her sister win; whether to let Alex save face or let Lena decimate her, she’s not sure.

Lena moves to the spot across from Alex and Alex smirks. Lena debates whether to string the game along, but decides against it. Ultimately Alex respects strength and she'll be furious if she senses Lena’s taking it easy on her. Plus she wants to rub the smirk off her face.

Alex moves her pawn from f7-f6.  
Lena moves her pawn e2-e4.  
Alex moves her pawn g7-g5.

Lena looks up at Alex suspiciously for a second, but then makes her move, d1-h5. “Checkmate…or should I say Fool’s Mate?"

“What the fuck!” Alex shouts in surprise. But then she looks at the board and grins in total embarrassment. How did I make such a rookie mistake?!”

“I didn’t know checkmate in two moves was even possible,” Winn muses.

“Well it can only happen in one way. White must make Alex’s specific moves for it to be possible,” Lena clarifies.

Maggie gives Alex a one-armed hug as she stares at the board and Kara tries to soothe her. “I did tell you she was a master at chess.”

Alex looks at Lena. “She meant Grandmaster, didn’t she?”

Lena gives a small grin, “Well, yes. But honestly Alex, with those moves, the proverbial chimpanzee could’ve beaten you."

“Sure rub it in why don’t you…”

Alex grabs the bottle of scotch and serves two doubles. Lena joins her in a toast and they all spend the rest of the night helping Alex drown her sorrows. Well everyone else mostly just mocks while Alex drowns.

 

* * *

 

“Kiera!”

Kara isn’t Ms. Grant’s assistant anymore, but it didn’t mean she still isn’t subject to her whims.

“Yes, Ms. Grant?!” Kara fumbles into her office, sneezing as her entrance.

“Kiera, are you…sick?” She asks in distaste.

“Ummm…just a light cold Ms. Grant.”

“You, Ker-rah? You never get sick. That's the best part about you.”

“That's the best part?

“If I get sick, I will under-perform. If I under-perform, our stock prices will fall, thousands of people will lose their job, the S&P will take a hit and you will personally have triggered the next recession. Do you want to be the next Lehman Brothers?”

“I guess I'll go home.”

“Don't exhale on the way out.”

 

* * *

 

Kara texts Jess she won’t be able to take Lena lunch today. She really does feel like shit. She solar flared this morning and had to get to work so she wasn’t able to rest under the sunlamps.

Immediately her phone rings with Lena’s number. “Hi Lena.”

“Kara, are you okay?”

“Yes, just a slight cold; I’m sorry about lunch. I’m just headed home to rest.”

“I cleared my schedule and I’ll be over soon with some soup.”

“Lena, really; I’ll be okay.”

“Kara, you’re always there for me, let me just be there for you.”

Kara sighs, although she can’t say she’s not looking forward to being coddled by Lena. “Okay, I really appreciate it. I’ll leave the door open.”

 

* * *

 

“I brought pot sticker soup,” Lena announces as she opens the door to Kara’s apartment.

Kara’s bundled under blankets on the sofa, some daytime soap opera on the tv.

“There’s no such thing Lena…”

“Sure there is…I had them put pot stickers instead of wantons in the broth.”

Kara grins and gestures her hands in a ‘gimme gimme’ move.

Lena transfers the soup to a bowl and grabs a spoon before settling in next to Kara on the couch.

“So what happened? I thought you pretty much immune to illness.”

“I solar-flared fighting Bizarro and I had to get to work so I couldn’t recover at the DEO.”

“Shouldn’t you be there now then? I can drive you.”

Kara sighs deeply. “Yeah. But I feel like I just need a break from everything. Alex’s worry, J’onn’s expectations, and Winn’s excitement. Can you understand? I just need a breather.”

“Of course, darling; you’re carrying the weight of two worlds on your shoulders. Even heroes need a break.” Lena’s the only one that’s intuitively grasped how Krypton still weighs on Kara.

They sit in silence while Kara eats her soup and Lena strokes small circles on her knee. When Kara finishes Lena takes the bowl and tidies up the kitchen.

“Uh, Lena…”

Lena looks over with a smile and her eyebrows quirked in question.

“Can we just go somewhere?”

“Of course; any particular place in mind?” Kara shrugs her shoulders, looking kind of lost.

It occurs to Lena there’s a place that will help Kara heal both physically and mentally.

 

* * *

 

Wet sand massages Kara’s tired feet as she admires the shining sun. The sky is so clear and wide, with no buildings or smog to hide it. The surf crashes, a soothing melody, as the wind presses and pulls at her hair and clothes, trying to steal the tucked-in edges of her blanket. She closes her eyes and draws in the briny air, bookmarking this moment.

Lena leans against her, enjoying the breeze and letting Kara just be…

They spend some time in comfortable silence watching the surf. “How’d you find this place?” Kara asks.

“When I first moved to National City, reporters, private detectives, paparazzi were behind my every step; no offense.”

Kara smiles, “none taken.”

“So I had a realtor find me a desolate spot where I can scream when I need it. Technically Jess owns it. Hacking being what it is today, I wanted to hide it as well as possible digitally.”

Lena studies Kara’s profile in the sunlight, the breeze blowing her tawny hair over her chiseled chin. She’s glowing, the sun’s rays finding their home. She’s stunning; but there’s so much more to Kara. Underneath the good-natured laughs and playful bumbling there’s truly a woman of steel. She’s lost so much, yet every loss seems to make her stronger, resolute, fierce.

“Kara…can I talk to you about Kryptonian science?”

Kara gives her a knowing smile. “I’m surprised you didn’t ask me before now. But yeah…of course.”

“Well now that my colossal blunder let the world know alien and human tech can be merged, we can’t put the genie back in the bottle. Other companies, foreign and domestic, will soon be in an arms race. We need to be prepared.”

“Lena, please tell me you don’t want L-Corp to be one of those companies,” Kara pleads, a horrified look marring her features.

“No! Of course not. You know I ended all of Luthor Corp’s weapons programs the minute I took over the company. But we can’t stick our heads in the sand. We need to anticipate the weapons you’ll be facing sooner rather than later and figure out how to destroy them or defeat them.”

Kara exhales loudly, a faraway look on her face. “When Krypton was dying, my parents chose to hide it from the people and do nothing. Turning away from the threat alien technology may pose to earth would be no different. I’m not letting another planet…another home… die.” Kara locks gazes with Lena, “But Lena, who do we trust?”

“Who knows the most about alien technology?”

Kara smirks. “Me. Most likely.”

“You? But how…?”

“I was to be inducted as the youngest member in the science guild on Krypton; I was what you would call a prodigy I guess. But then my world exploded and once here the Danvers and Kal inculcated me with the belief I must be invisible. I didn’t have the English vocabulary to explain and even when I did, I would have turned your science inside out. So much of what passes for science on earth is simply…well…wrong.”

“Kara! That’s amazing! You teach me Kryptonian and then we can work together on exploring the possibilities!”

“Lena I think we learned our lesson the last time, don’t you think?”

“Kara, I would like nothing more than to leave it alone and bury my guilt. But I opened Pandora’s box and now it falls to me to help protect the planet and everyone who lives here. You know I’m right.”

Kara shrugs her shoulders and grins slightly. “Yeah, you’re annoying like that…”

“L-Corp will fund the R&D, but I have one non-negotiable condition.”

Kara quirks her eyebrow in question… “we are not putting kale in the vending machines Lena!”

“Very funny Supergirl. My condition is you and only you have veto power...into what projects we pursue, whether they’re built, whether they’re used and how and everything in between.”

“Lena, I’m not a god and I don’t want to be…”

“Of course not Kara; but in every endeavor there has to be one person who takes responsibility for the outcome of every decision. I only trust you. Look this is just a germ of an idea…we’ll keep talking about it.”

“Next time I’m sick I’m locking you out,” Kara grimaces.

“Ahhh, you know you can’t live without me…” Lena jokes, her laughter dancing in the wind.

Kara shakes her head and rolls her eyes… “You’re absolutely right about that…” she whispers, too quietly for Lena to hear.

 

* * *

 

“Lena?! What’s wrong?”

“I’m sorry to use the Supergirl phone, but I wanted to reach you before I leave.”

“Leave?! Where are you going?!”

“Tokyo. The plant there uses nuclear energy and there’s been an explosion. The Japanese government ordered a media blackout. I have to protect my employees. I have to find out what’s going on so I can route the necessary resources.”

“Lena, this could be a trap. It’s all happening too fast. Wait. Let me help you!”

“The International Atomic Energy Agency is already confirming increased radiation surges in the atmosphere. Listen to me Kara. We know your cells are affected by radiation. You cannot come here until we’re sure you won’t be hurt.”

“But Lena…”

“Promise me Kara! Promise!”

“Fine, but I’m coming for you...”

 

* * *

 

“Alex!” Kara’s yelling before she’s even landed at the DEO.

“We’re aware of the situation Supergirl,” J’onn assures her in his soothing voice.

“Great, what I want to know is what we’re doing about it!” Kara growls.

“Winn, what’ve we got?”

“Well the problem starts with the old Korean reactors, which are not as technologically protected as some of the newer equipment. Hackers weren’t able to take control of the facility but they were able to infect it with some type of malware. It should be physically impossible. All these types of facilities are air-gapped. You have to be physically present to screw with the safety mechanisms.”

Kara gestures frustratingly at no one in particular. “What does this mean?”

“It means we move very carefully Supergirl,” J’onn emphasizes.

“NO! It means you figure out whether my physiology is affected by the nuclear radiation leaking into the atmosphere asap because when Lena lands on the ground in Tokyo, I will be there to greet her. I am not losing anyone else I love!”


End file.
